Eric and the Iniquities?
Note: I am reposting this to fourwords.net on May 8, 2016 after some quick editing for grammar. The original posting was September 30, 2011 and can be found here if that interests you for any reason.
Dear Blog Journal,
My mom doesn’t read you. Sorry, she has a growing fear of technology, and really, she’s just not a fan. It’s okay though, she has people who do read you and report back to her any salient points or particularly juicy bits. So here goes.
Over the past few weeks I’ve had at least two different people talk to me about iniquities. I was told that they are something that has been passed down from my parents/grandparents/great-grandparents/etc… So, first I decided to find out what iniquities are. Now, I’m not a complete idiot, I know that over the years I’ve heard the word used and taking it in the context in which it was presented I am aware that they are bad. Just for fun, let’s look it up in the dictionary. Okay, Webster’s says that it is “a wicked act or thing: SIN” or “gross injustice: WICKEDNESS”. Hmmmm, okay, maybe I should find a different dictionary. Okay, I’m back. Google listed a whole bunch of sites that talked about curses and being passed down through bloodlines. I’m not going to try to pretend to understand what this is all about. I can tell you some negative traits I got from my parents though.
From my mom, I got the aversion to saying I’m sorry and constantly thinking that people don’t like me or are just mad at me. To be fair, she has been doing a lot better with these things, and I have been trying to work on them myself. I will lose sleep sometimes worrying if someone likes me or not based on comments they may have said or not said, but didn’t say them in a certain way. It’s hard to apologize to people, because it usually means that you were wrong and I don’t like to be wrong. I find it’s much easier to pretend like nothing ever happened and just change the subject and move on. I’m working on that one too (especially at work).
From my dad, I got awkward social skills, A.D.D., being compulsive with money, a short temper, and no idea how to raise or relate to children. These are things that I have no idea how to fix. I will say that my dad’s social skills are much better than mine. I hardly ever see him lose his temper anymore, He is much much better with his money now and well the kids thing still seems to be a problem.
I love both of my parents. I know that they tried their hardest to raise me better than I turned out. I also know that I did get some positive attributes from them as well (I don’t really know what any of them are off hand, but that’s not really what this journal is about). Apparently, if this iniquities thing is what I think I understand it to be, it’s not their fault. I guess that sounds like an easy way to look at. Nothing is our fault or our parents fault or their parents fault or… I’m sure that’s not what they meant when they told me about iniquities. We have to accept some personal responsibility. Right?
P.S. My wife is way better at breast feeding than I am. I love you Charlotte