Eric and the Company of Men
Note: I am reposting this to fourwords.net on May 12, 2016 after some quick editing for grammar. The original posting was January 9, 2012 and can be found here if that interests you for any reason.
People keep telling me that I need to spend more time with men, that I need positive male influence to teach me how to be better at being a Godly man who is the spiritual leader of his family and all that. Here’s the thing, I don’t like men very much. Of all the people that piss me off in the world most of them are men. It’s probably because of where I live. There just aren’t the right kind of men around for me to hang out with, but that’s just how I see things in this small horrible town that I live in. I don’t have anything in common with men, I don’t like cars, Nascar, wrestling, sports, shooting harmless animals (not that I have a problem with that, because God knows I’ll eat the hell out of a steak, it’s just not the environment I like to be in). I don’t like racism (this is Texas so it’s mostly everywhere). I have mentioned before that I don’t like sports, (shocker) but let’s talk about the biggest sport for a second. I hate football; it is the stupidest thing that has ever been invented in the history of things, except for maybe war and Howard the Duck (don’t act like you don’t remember).
Do you know how dumb it is to intentionally run into another running person who is also heading towards you? That can’t be good for anything inside of you. Children should not be allowed to play football. With all of the studies out there now (by now I mean that this is a fairly recent discovery, see the P.P.P.S.) that talk about the long term side effects to getting hit in the head when you’re a child playing football, the parents and school administrators and coaches should all be arrested for child abuse (okay, maybe not arrested, but at least sternly talked to). I don’t mind full grown adults killing themselves for millions of dollars out on a nationally televised football field (they deserve what they get), but the fact that it is still legal to let our children do these things to themselves, and the fact that we encourage it so much is truly horrible. We lift these young impressionable minds up to be “heroes”. We treat them like they are “soldiers” out on a battlefield just because they can run around on a field and hurt one another while we pretty much ignore the kids who like to read, learn and be artistic in any way at all. Not only do we ignore these children, but we let the football players beat them up or pick on them constantly (high school was hard for me).
Now, I know that the argument will be that everything is bad for something, and that is true. There are tons and tons of extremely dangerous retarded things that we all do on a regular basis, but this one just doesn’t make any sense. Breaking bones is one thing, but our brains are crazy fragile, and this is dumb. I keep seeing things about how our body is a temple, and that the good Christian thing to do is take care of it (I’m obviously the worst about this because I’ve absolutely destroyed my temple, but that doesn’t make giving yourself a concussion okay) Why can’t they just play soccer? You don’t even want to hear what I have to say about the funding issues. So I’ll stay away from that as it’s not the point of this particular rant.
Now that that’s been said, let’s talk about the things I do like: most nerdy stuff, video games, science (although I’m not that good at it), technology, music, photography, movies, TV, books, comics, comedy, etc… mostly things that men, at least the men around here, don’t give a rat’s ass about. I don’t know how to relate with other men. Every time I see a guy I don’t really know that well they’ll ask “so where you workin’ now?” as if that’s the most important thing in my life. I don’t want to talk about my job I want to talk about the new batman or star trek movie. I want to talk about the newest death cab for cutie album or how the scientist over at CERN might finally find the Higgs-Boson this year (again, something that’s very hard for me to understand but fascinates me none the less). I want to talk about the walking dead or how the series finale of lost disappointed me more than I let on, but didn’t sour me on the whole series (and after weeks of reviewing it over and over in my head I grew to appreciate it) because it was truly one of the greatest, most think inducing television shows that I’ve ever seen in my entire life (nothing ever made my brain try so hard to figure out what the crap was going on like lost did). I want to talk about how Portal 2 has changed the way that I look at the world of gaming, and how it’s the most awesome and funny pieces of entertainment that I have ever experienced in my life. I want to talk about Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, or the Elder Scrolls, but I think you’re getting the point. There are too many references to cram into this thing.
Basically, I don’t get men, and men don’t get me, and I’m totally okay with that. It just makes it hard for me to have any positive role models in my life.
P.S. I’m sorry that I hate football (I’m not really sorry that I hate football)
P.P.S. I’m sorry that I lied in the P.S.
P.P.P.S. in case you think that I’m making this stuff up you can read one of a million sites talking about it here and you can google the rest.